creative beginnings

I'll admit that I went into Creative Beginnings with a fair amount of skepticism. It seemed to me like just another barrier to getting on with the course, which I've been looking forward to since I heard it existed 18 months ago (it's been a loooooong wait). I'm glad to say, however, that I was proved wrong.

Sure, some parts of it grated on me. I found it frustrating that in such a large group it was difficult to really engage with everyone on a personal level - I would have loved to have questioned some people more thoroughly - and with 25 people all voicing their opinions (or, in reality, more like 10) arguments tended to go round in circles. I would also question whether the central question matters - should we be thinking about who culture 'belongs' to or going out there and making it? That's just a reflection of my own opinion on the question, though, and I'm aware of its usefulness in making us question our ideas.

The first task was a bit of a poser. I toyed with how deep or how literal to make it, and ended up panicking one night before I moved and going and taking a pretty rubbish version:

After I'd moved, and once I'd calmed down, I decided to take a good picture this time, and enlisted the help of my comrade in arms Maisie Cottingham (BA TPA1 for those who don't know):

It's very important for me that she was in it, since I wouldn't actually be here, at the RSAMD, without her. It's thanks to her that I came to an open day and fell in love with this crazy place and found this course, which seemed to fulfil every criterion I could have hoped for. I also surrounded myself with all the things which have gone into forming my creative consciousness: my novels, my magazines, my comics, my plays (a lot of plays), my films, my tv series. Also, I wanted something to represent me, so I threw in my camera (you can just see it in the background), my dear Macbook, my new shoes and my badass bikerboots. And, as the final layer of pretentiousness, I sat there reading Voltaire.

In the session, it was fascinating to see how others had interpreted the task. Some had taken it completely literally, and it was great to see the wide variety of beautiful places people have come from - I do think the diversity of the RSAMD's students is one of its strengths, and I'm glad to be a part of that. (Oh God, I'm starting to sound like an Equality and Diversity lecture!) I also loved the more metaphorical interpretations.

From the first day, what I really took was that everyone had a very different idea of what they were getting into. We couldn't agree - not in a confrontational way, we just couldn't reach a consensus. And that didn't change, and I'm not sure I'd want it to. It's good that everyone thinks something different! My personal take on "culture" was a very thorough, though probably not quite thorough enough, definition:

Culture is an accumulation of creative ideas, incorporating ritual and ceremony and the social, political and personal landscape. It is a constantly evolving influencing force.

And as for who it belongs to, I would say: no one. I don't believe culture can be owned, only added to. I liked another group's use of a metaphor:


Culture is like soup: you've got your dance, your drama, your art, your music, your everything basically, thrown in there, and we should be like delicious croutons floating on top. You don't want to sink to the bottom, just float on the top deliciously. And everyone can have a bowl, and they can all have whatever they want from this soup. And the RSAMD in this metaphor is either the soup pot or the chef ... it's hard to say ...


An interesting look at it, plus, who can resist a soup metaphor?

We also looked at Scottish culture in the specific, which is an interesting area for me.

Though I've lived here for a long time - longer than anywhere else - I am by no means Scottish. I'm an outsider, and one who has had the opportunity to observe scottish culture in great depth. I think it has a wonderful tradition of education, one which people who have lived here all their lived probably don't appreciate. The schools here are better than anywhere else in the country, some of the best in the world, and you only have to look at the way further education is funded to see that. I also love the culture of creativity - there is a greater willingness to express oneself in Scotland than the rest of the uk, especially England. People are more gregarious, and friendlier. I've not encountered a Big Issue seller who proposes marriage to the pretty girls who walk past anywhere except Glasgow. There's also the more negative side - the fighting culture, the drinking culture, the unhealthy food. None of these are universal, and yet they create an overall pattern to me of what living in Scotland is. And that is why I love it here, and am happy to stay here for the rest of my education.

On the second day, I got to indulge my love of drama games! Say what you like, they're fun and they wake you up.

It also gave me more of an opportunity to meet and work with people from other disciplines; one of the most attractive elements of the Academy for me is that you work so closely with actors/technicians/dancers on a daily basis, and it was a great chance to actually get to know them a little. I tried to give a good first impression - not hard when the method of introduction is giving them a hug - and find out a little bit about them. What emerged from this day was that we freshers have a lot in common. We expect similar things from our 1/3/4 years here - hard work, collaboration, support - with just a little variation for course-specific things. I was glad that in these exercises people seemed to be being open and honest - I certainly tried to open up and participate.

We had to bring in a statement, saying what we would bring to the course, and an object to represent ourselves. My statement, in rather pretentious language, I'm sorry, ran thusly:

I bring all that I have, which is all that I am.

What can I say, I love verbal symmetry. I was raised with Shakespeare from an early age.


My object was a pen. Yeah, looks like I grabbed the first thing my hand fell on in the morning, doesn't it? Well, I didn't really have the range of choice I would have had at home (my real home that is, although Glasgow is coming to mean home more and more) but I chose it for several reasons. I always need a pen, for writing down ideas and impressions, or sketching in my patented "can't actually draw" style. Also, and here comes the metaphysical bit, I want to make my mark on the RSAMD. See what I did there? Do you?

In the afternoon, we split into groups and were sent into the city like the Israelites into the desert (wow, I've been writing for a long time now, you can tell because I just made a Biblical allusion) to wander until we found a place which represented the culture we were going into. My group consisted of two MA students (Classical and Contemporary Text and Musical Theatre) and a TPA student, stage management and production strand. We debated several places, trying to think beyond the obvious and, basically, out-do the others. Competitiveness is the fuel for creativity! Eventually, we reached Central Station (which a stubborn part of me always calls "Grand Central Station" for some unfathomable reason) and found our way to the "Harry Potter Platform" - Platform 12, nee 11a, right at the end where all the train-spotters lurk. We edged past them and took our photos just past the DO NOT CROSS THIS POINT point, with a backdrop of signs and signals. We chose it because it shows the industrial, practical heart of Glasgow rather than the shortbread tin version, and the metaphors for the choice we have to take and the paths we'll travel fall into your lap.

I would have preferred to have used a better camera than the one in one of my colleague's phone, and to have developed it onto proper paper, but we weren't given any warning so there's not much we could have done. Unless this is their way of saying to always have a camera with me...

Other's choices were intriguing - I liked the humourous use of traffic cones, and the derring-do of all those who tried to find a theatre which would let them in. I loved the pictures taken from some of Glasgow's vantage points - it really does have a beautiful skyline.

Today, the final day, we convened in the Chandler Studio Theatre under some atmospheric lights and I got to indulge my love of drama games again. Once we were warmed up, the srs bsns began.

Our installation was to pin up on one side of the room the picture representing where we came from, and what developed from that was a picture of just how diverse our backgrounds were, from rural areas to foreign cities. Some people emphasised that they come from travel, which  I could sympathise with.

We then wrote four things on the floor in chalk:

What we bring to the academy
An anxiety we have
A hope we have, and
A question we had.

Mine were:

I bring everything!
I fear failure
I hope that ^ won't stop me from trying
When do we start?

As time went by, it became scuffed and blurred, but it was beautiful to me to see what people had written. Some had gone for humour, (one question was "where is Hugh Hogart's office?" and one fear was "swine flu"), some for impact (you all saw the foot-tall lettered one) and some seemed perfectly confident ("fearless"). What warmed me were all those who expressed the doubt they still felt about themselves; "they'll find out that I'm actually shit", "what will happen if I fail?", "am I good enough?", and all of those who wrote "failure" as their fear. I can sympathise with that lingering doubt that they aren't up to it, for all that I know it's an insecurity based on fear rather than a recognition of fact.

The most upsetting was "I am where I wanted to be. Or so I thought." I hope that they feel differently once work begins in earnest.

Finally, we wrote a letter to ourselves on graduation. I wrote some personal things, about where I am where I hope to be. Who I hope to be. I also betrayed my bossiness and gave myself some orders, particularly about who I should go and hug. Oh, and I drew a picture. Why not? This exercise was incredibly moving to me, since I can see myself opening this letter and thinking back to this time when I was just starting out. It feels like insurance for the future, and I can start by taking my own advise now. I wish we'd done this kind of thing in highschool, it would have been lovely and it would have made our eventual departures that bit more meaningful.

I hope we'll get to see the picture of us all on the steps, scaring the gentle folk of Glasgow with our rowdy drama-school-ness. It would show such hope, and commemorate what, for me, has been an eye-opening few days. I learnt a lot about the other people I will work with, about myself and it made me think about what I actually want to achieve. By setting it down, I feel like I'm more likely to act upon it. The same goes for my anxieties - looking at them, and looking at other people who feel the same way, makes me feel better about them. I know that they're there, but I know not to worry.

I'm very excited for what comes next! I feel prepared, and as keen to get going as a horse that's been questioned about culture for three days when all it wants is to go and gallop.

So well done if you've read through all that, I can talk about myself at great length, although I'll stop now since my stomach is making awful noises at me and is threatening to revolt.